Random ramblings

tumblr

2011-07-14T00:42:00.001+08:00

Bye, I need to tumblr for some time.

http://isntthisreallife.tumblr.com/

ps: surprisingly I have an account and posted a super post back in June2010. joke.

2011-06-22T19:36:00.003+08:00

so I've gotten myself a mini laptop from Asus, Eee pc seashell. It's like carrying a seashell covered pouch. I'm in love with its curve borders and light pinkest colour, Marianne claimed that it looks like a Hello Kitty laptop, i second it. I bet all girls would love it! it comes in dusty gold, white pink, and purple. All colours have its good look, trust me.

Played with my webcam the other night with Stallone and here are some pictures to share

haha. look at Stallone's expression.
He's damn good in this but I'd always looked like I tried too hard
.

I think i passed the attempt to be funny. *insert scream face! aaaaaaaaaaa

lol! seriously look at his dumb face

He looks like a Japanese pornstar. A real pervert muahaha

hehe* this is MARIANNE. muahaahaha she looks damn cute here

!till then x

Quick thought.

2011-06-21T21:21:00.007+08:00

currently having tea session with my dearest Marianne.

one of the few who always make me feel comfortable being with,angry at,pissed and bother laughing at my jokes. I guess that's what we call a real friend?

have a good night, you!

till then! x

Five of us .

2011-06-20T01:12:00.005+08:00

Hello!

So Sunday just ended very peacefully, except Benny was pissing me off with his doggy acts. Stayed in with the family and had a great laugh over dinner. I was literally laughing & crying at one of my infamous gags. Anyway, cant help it but yeah.. Cause sometimes i don't understand why I'll make myself sound funny or look stupid in the public. It's just me being me. oh well /straight face.

Another thing of me, I am really anal when comes to bad scent. I never understand why some restaurants had to have wet wooden smell or i called it, a dusty smell. Worst is, I am really really really very paranoid of eating at dirty food stalls, especially on a rainy day and there are drains just right beside your table. Another main reason would be because I am really afraid of cats, imagine dirty brown cat with black strips passing by your legs and oh my God, i can't continue. The minute I put my hands on the table, I could feel that the bacterias are happily migrating to my body parts... anyway, I NEED TO SKIP THIS TOPIC *feeling really dirty naooo!

So I lodged my application for a tourist visa of a year to Australia. I am so excited, this is my yearly achievement/goals and I always wanting to do this,with much more guts, new discoveries and bla. I spent most of my time thinking what I'm going to do there, whether I should save on food or stuff myself with burgers fish&chip platters, and the amount of clothes,bags and shoes I'm bringing. I even imagine myself spending Sunday at the park, feeding birds and have picnic ( one of my classic unglam fav! ). Walking down Sydney street looking for jobs,pretending that I'm lost, taking pictures of the culture and video cam everything i want to share! Or buy really cheap furniture from some second hand shop/flea market and decorate my mini apartment with recycle items, paint the walls with my fingers.

And best part of it all is, I am enrolled (er..half enrolled) to an event training school. I'll be doing Events for 3 months, which means I'll be an event management graduate officially(yes, with a certificate. so no more "illegally" accepting projects!And the chances to enter bigger companies will be on the tip of my nails!)

I can't believe I'm going back to school after I left last year and this is an easier one though I'll be in oversea, everything will be more in a practical basis so I guess it's gonna be just fine for me. Yes, I'm missing school days and scoring 3.95 CGPA in marketing back then! ahhhh.. one of my proudest moment but I dropped college because they failed to accept my deferment and asked to pay for the tuition fee (I wasn't even with them on that semester) else I can't take my result slip and transfer to another school. So obviously, I was stupid to give up the whole course because of their poor management but of course I was furiously mad about it and I have been influenced by what the older successful friends told me not to waste time since I have the minimal experience already and bla.

Talking bout this, I have to go and claim for my credit transfer. I hate it a lot when I happened to realize how things are taking me for granted or literally wasting our money and at the end of the day , I have nothing to acknowledge me or proof to my knowledge/ability. PFft. Do you understand?

I shallzzz not continue the 7th paragraph. Anyway, I wish to come up with more picture postings so this blog wouldn't look dull. My sister mentioned to me that she read my blog but she has to stop because there's too many words. Guess perhaps I just can't fascinate blog readers with colourful updates like " today, I went to chatime cause I was craving for Passion fruit QQ ... so on and so forth.. ". I just can't hold myself from typing out my thoughts instead of telling whatever that happened in a day. My old blogs have always been emotionally posted and I came up with really emo quotes that can make one cry. lol.

PS, I CAN'T STOP HOLDING ON A KEY WHILE I TYPE BECAUSE I THOUGHT THE ALPHABET WILL CAPITALIZED ITSELF IF I HOLD ON IT. THE EFFECT OF OVERUSED BLACKBERRY KEYPADS!

till then! x

I spelt eh li fen.

2011-06-12T18:00:00.003+08:00

Had a week filled with nice music,videos, and laying.
nearly came to a thought that Im loving this life. But the next second, Im hating it. Would've done better, i wished i could at least save my time into a capsule and spend it sometime when i needed.

Anyway, bitching has been more than I could asked for. Can't stand a minute having people around blasting my ears with gossips and rumors. And you know, Im having a hard time at work. Wasn't going on so well, it wasn't anyone's fault. Some people just don't realized that their words might hurt or it sounds brutal to me. And I have my ways of doing things and I make things happened. so I don't understand whats with the pinpointing and hatred going on.

oh, i can't wait to leave Malaysia! Can't wait to get my visa done and everything final confirmed.

till then! x

Get what you want,yourself.

2011-06-02T00:45:00.002+08:00

Finally got some time alone.
Took a half day leave from work and came home, been resting in my room since..

Was driving when I saw a police car ( i don't know if you called it a lorry ) with a guy locked inside. Thought to myself, what if it was me? He looked away while the other drivers looked at him, could terribly feel how he felt exactly...

Life's this funny.. if the world doesn't suck, we'd all be falling out. We did and done things we never knew we'll regret until the story slaps you and then you couldn't any longer turn back time.

I think most of us got lost once a while.
We got lost, when our bf/gf dumps us after all we've been doing everything for love. We lost hope and faith, when things never ever turn out right for us. We never know the way out, never know how to get out. People around asked if they could offer some help, yet we know no one could ever help us.

We throw our tantrum, get upset at everything even at our self, we feel like going to a place where nobody knows us so we could start all over again, we feel insecure and hardly remember how it feels like to be in our comfort zone, we wanted to seek help but who do we go to? We are never happy.

We forgot to love and appreciate. We never say thank you anymore,truly. We just stop caring for others, we have been taking things for granted. We blame on others when things messed up. We hate, we are jealous at others who look so much better than us. We back-stab the one who earns the highest paycheck. We assumed that our partner is cheating on us. We never trust ourselves, we never believe in ourselves, we never do things for ourselves.

DO IT ALL FOR YOURSELF!

till then. xx

I was told never to stop

2011-04-22T01:12:00.002+08:00

It's late now and I'm really exhausted from the working couch. Couldn't remember how I went with it in the past months. Things have been shifting to the point that we are no longer familiar to what our purpose is. I thought maybe I think too much or I'm just being emotional of the little obstacles that happened. Stay awake in the late hours isn't really a bad idea; could use it wisely to plant a new formulas into all my doubts and the odds. Sometimes. Or shall them time come revolving again.

The inner feeling that I don't want to let anyone read my mind but hoping someone would guess it right. The shopping bags that were left untouched made me feel at my worst that I'd have gain more than only these. I am upset with myself that I haven't been performing well at work and in life. Could have achieve something or at least have recognition for the efforts that I have been putting into everything.

As I came home today, the space was filled with the noise and laughter of people that I loved. It eased my mind a little and I secretly thanked God for providing me home. I can't deny living away from home is a call to freedom. Wanted to get an apartment to stay in for awhile for the convenience to work but it wouldn't seems to happen...

But I guess I'm only messing up with my life. It could have been better,alot better. How long more we wake up from this dream of us and remember the feeling of climbing up a hill?

As to my planning, I think I'm screwing the whole celebration by its mean timing. I'm tired and I'm walking out from this.

2011-04-19T03:12:00.003+08:00

would it be me? couldn't stop thinking all the 'what-if'

2011-04-18T23:47:00.002+08:00

Done mailing my clientele and realized I need a new laptop. My pictures are out of order while my old laptop died on me a year ago, there's even more pictures and documents missed. Meantime Facebook is being a bitch and my account can still be used even when I've deleted it .

I'm really, really stuck with my birthday plannings. I couldn't believe this is happening to me, how can I not plan my own birthday party when I've been organizing events/dinners etc. Dates are so inflexible that most of the days I 'think' it's already scheduled for other activities. While Cheryl just sent me a message stated 'Catwalk models needed on the 7th-8th May . SGD500/day ', I've already given up 50% of my 21st birthday. Good news is Stallone became the resident Dj for Mist every Saturday, which means I AM STILL STUCK WITH MY PLAN.

Work will be resumed tomorrow. I'm still trying my best to sort things out and be back on top5. Been pushing myself really hard to strike for an high end life and of course, a healthier one. Can't bear myself looking at my old photos, I've lost serious weight.

Till then. Ta! x

Paused to think.

2011-04-15T01:24:00.002+08:00

hi all!

Just wanted to quickly write and update a little. I dont want to murder yet another blog. Life is okay, except 2 months of $0 paycheck yet I'm still surviving on my 5months' commissions. Splurging has been even more random than before, bad grumpy emotion kicks in and I'm already on my way to the mall.

Quit working a week back and I'm still on the hunt for a better motivational job though I have had my seat secured in another company of same line. Life's suck when people like me gets easily bored and when we've learn everything, we leave. But I have to admit, we performed our best everywhere and I never want to die working for someone.

And most of the time I'd doze off with Stallone on bed till I feel distraught wasting our days like that and not having a life at all. I've basically shifted so far from being the person I always wanted to be. Probably not knowing who i want to be anymore. I've undergo vast changes after college where things became indifferent and there's too much goals I want to achieve. Almost everything a man could possibly do.

Oh well, why make life a hard one when time is limited. However, somehow I know I've walked my path wrongly and my circle of knowledge cum experience isnt going any wider. Thought of furthering my studies in US/UK ; probably a new dimension in life but not until I find the courage to leave Msia. Sigh.words can't quite describe how indecisive I am.

On a brighter note, Stallone and I have been sweeter than ever. I've finally found the benefit of fights and arguments in relation to us since the both of us are much of an opinionated person, we voice out feelings that used to push us away. Other than that, we both love the company of each and I can't spend a second without him (not to exaggerate :p) .

I'm turning 21 in 4 weeks time. The boys threw in alot of ideas to this big day and it amazed me when they were each very focused in planning it out for me. Perhaps a trip to Maldives would be best to complete.. heh. Might probably just get a ticket to HK. Let's just keep the fingers crossed.

Looking forward to a new week and I'm wondering if I can rent a private beach or some private park for the celebration. Maybe just a nice pent suite for the night. So clever.

Talk soon!

Ta! x

Loha!

2011-04-02T02:36:00.001+08:00

okay, so the last post was on Aug2010 :s

so critical that i nearly lost count of the many blogs of mine. har har. I remembered the reason why I started blogging. It was back in high school when everyone else was so excited to share their life and what's yes. And I was only excited to debate with my own thoughts.

anyway, so I'm back and hopefully it stays. This gonna be a rough one, specially for Stallone as I'm going to pump in more questions of love and relationship. Aka, emotional posts/ angry quest/crazy quotes.

Ta! x